Notes
My Dearest Fellow Travelers,
I am thrilled, grateful, and somewhat intimidated to present SHIVOHAM - THE QUEST, a musical expression of my intensely personal journey over the last 20 years.
We are all seeking something. We call it love, happiness, success, peace. I am no exception. In early 2000, my longing for something “beyond” became more and more intense. I was a major participant in the world of global finance and business with all the trappings of success. Yet, I was tormented by life's bigger questions - "What is enough?" "Why am I here?" "What is success?" "What makes me happy?" "What if I wake up one day and find I have spent my time all wrong, and now it is too late?” had to find my answers.
In the early stages of this complicated journey, I turned to what I have relied on since childhood: prayer. Throughout my life, I have visited temples and churches, observed fasts, practiced rituals, bargained with "God". I was an equal opportunity devotee: scores of Sanskrit chants melded naturally with the Lord's Prayer! Why don't "You" show me the way? My pleas were multifaceted.
I took up music again - realized the happiest moments of my life had to do with it. I searched high and low for extraordinary masters and begged them to teach me - and for most of them the payment could only be in a lifetime of devotion to their honored musical traditions.
I would schedule classes at 6 a.m. - leaving my home at 3:30 am. to be back in time to meet my other commitments. From them, I learnt hundreds or devotional poems, which required exacting classical training; I sang 10 - 12 hours a day, losing myself, placing undue demands on my voice. I had no goal in mind - I was simply desperate to stay in that place of light that music took me to.
My initial albums Soul Mantra, Soul Call, and Soul March were fruits of these chants and musical prayers. I did not want to sing someone else's words, as I had so much music pouring out of me. My job was just to download and share what I was hearing in the universe. Soul call was born at 3 a.m. in the midst of deep sleep. I was compelled to rush out of bed to do a scratch recording of music that was playing - somewhere. The album garnered thousands of fans that wrote movingly about how it changed their lives and was nominated for a Grammy in 2011.
I lived, breathed, and existed to find the truth - but did not even know what it looked like. Meditations with Gurus, Buddhist Insight and Mette meditations, structured silence retreats from 2 to 10 days at a time - I did them all. There were priests, rabbis, gurus, healers from all religions and nations. I met Shamans in New Mexico and Arizona, Paes and Maes de Santos in the deepest parts of Brazil, psychics in Australia, Chinese mediums who came to look for me in NY. I slowly grasped the similarities in their message and their own unique approach of conveying it.
As I deepened my practice and ventured inside myself, I could actually have lucid conversations with my higher self. More fragments of songs were created during such conversations. More fragments of songs were created during such conversations. The ancient mystics were surely talking about my pain, expressing their “Song of Yearning”. Psalms from my convent school spoke to me in the same way the Shanti Mantra did in “Song of the Seeker.” I heard “Song of Blessings” in the plains of Texas on my sixth day of silence in a meditation retreat, but could not write it down (we were not allowed any devices - even pen and paper - for 10 days).
In one silence spell, I felt the complete dissolution of my body. I viscerally grasped that our bodies are but casings for a short period of time, but you have to really quiet down to understand it. Wondrous things happen when you do. I am the unbounded, universal Self - hence “Song of the Spirit”.
No amount of science could prove it to me like one experience could.
An encounter with a teacher so iridescent and loving beyond description, clarified for me that light beings, more evolved than I am, return to the Earth with many forms and faces to help us find our paths. “Song of the Teacher” told that story.
It felt natural to intersperse 6000-year-old Sanskrit prayer with new and old verses in English. The similarities of the intense yearning and the quest of mankind across oceans and time are heartbreaking; the recounted experiences of finding the light, breathtaking.
SHIVOHAM - THE QUEST was being born as a complete work, and these individual songs needed cohesive musical expression.
The intensive album creation process- structuring the compositions, ragas, workshops, arrangements, and recordings - started in earnest in January 2015 (Meanwhile, I had to take a break and organize my daughter’s wedding - not a trivial endeavor if you are of Indian origin!)
The arrangements had to be universal, crossing cultures, genres and time. I was also determined to collaborate with world-class artists, and to produce it with live performances, engineered to the highest standard, to honor this message. The 200-plus participants on this album are drawn from multiple countries. We recorded in nine studios across four continents.
Brilliant musicians like Teese Gohl and Kenny Werner reinterpret traditional Indian classical ragas; a London string symphony matches the lightning-swift moves of sitar and sarod; Renaissance instruments work with sarangi and esraj; five spectacular choirs from London, NY, India, Soweto, and the King’s Singers unite in glorious harmony; world-class rhythm master like Cyro Baptista and Jamey Haddad engage in percussion exchanges with Indian tabla, dhol, pakhawaj, and mridangam. It was an honor and privilege to work with them. I am grateful for the “heart” each and everyone of these maestros put into SHIVOHAM - THE QUEST
Such layered arrangements meant that we spent over a year piecing together a giant jigsaw under the discerning ears of Scott Cannizzaro, John Kiehl, Byron Wu, and Mirek Vana. Many a weekend in 2016 and 2017 was spent in Soundtrack studios with Scott, literally creating arrangements in real-time as we sifted through over 200 tracks for each song.
Meanwhile, my worldly pursuits are continuing apace, but I find myself moving from a somewhat self-absorbed view to a far broader connection with a formless reality, of which I believe we are all part. I spend most of my time in causes of education and the arts, critically examining my purity of purpose. There are periods of expanded and contracted light within me, but I am more aware of it. Mostly, I try to stay deep inside the ocean while the swells are turbulent above, which they always are, knowing they will change, that karma is alive and well, and that a loving force will take care of us all. I am grateful for the material gifts I have, and want to share them the best I can, without renunciation. However, my inner journey continues, and the cycle repeats…
Hardened businessmen, who would nervously laugh at my signature “Love Light Laughter”, now share vignettes from their own tortuous quests, forgotten dreams, and daily practices. I get glimpses into whole selves of people I have known for years along one dimension. I am actively seeking the light in everyone, however small the flame might be. Peace all around does not seem enough. I want the planet, the forces of nature, all beings, and myself to be enveloped in abundant blessing…all the time.
Sarva Mangalam Bhavatu Bhavatu Bhavatu: Let everything and everyone be blessed, let it be so, let it be so, let it be so.
I present SHIVOHAM - THE QUEST to you. I hope it will strike a chord and inspire you to reflect on your own journey. Perhaps we will learn from each other’s journeys as we go forward. Perhaps we will reflect more on how connected we are and celebrate it.
I dedicate this music to the seekers of the light everywhere and to the teachers that guide their path.
Love Light Laughter
